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How to Prevent Divorce


by Tom Stewart
October 28, 2000

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, in the United States of America (1997), the "likelihood of new marriages ending in divorce" is 43%. "For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that He hateth putting away [i.e., divorce]" (Malachi 2:16). In 1993, the U.S. Bureau of the Census projected that 40% of first marriages will end in divorce. "Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant" (2:14). Nearly 1.2 million American marriages were dissolved by the courts in 1994-- triple the 1960 figure (from "The Los Angeles Times" of May 27th 1996, page A16). "And did not He make one? Yet had He the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That He might seek a Godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth" (2:15).

It is sad that we have grown accustomed to statistics that demonstrate the prevalence of divorce and the break up of families in the 21st century; but possibly, all parties-- the spouses, their children, family, friends, and society-- would rather that marriages succeed than fail. "Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it" (Psalm 127:1). The question of how to prevent divorce, is actually the issue of how to succeed a marriage. "5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:5-6). Society does not truly instruct spouses on how to prevent divorce, instead legal prenuptial agreements and no-fault divorce provisions are recognized as the rip cord to pull, if all else fails. But, "what saith the Scripture?" (Romans 4:3).

Sure, we are not surprised when someone advises us to do whatever is necessary to "make it work"; however, in all fairness, we need more than human help to prevent divorce and grow a strong marriage. "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13). Even more sad, is the duplication of the world's divorce statistics in the heart of the Professed Christian Church; but again, does this not just affirm that the Professed Church does not understand how to actually accomplish what both the world and the Church agree is a worthy goal-- to prevent divorce? "19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do... 24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:19, 24).

Briefly, how do we prevent divorce?

• First, the foundation of any marriage must be upon the Rock of the LORD Jesus Christ, because He alone is Trustworthy and able to make a marriage succeed. It was His idea in the first place to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the Earth" (Genesis 1:28). "For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ" (1Corinthians 3:11).
  
  
• Second, our obligation to love Christ "with all [our] heart, and with all [our] soul, and with all [our] mind, and with all [our] strength... is the first commandment" (Mark 12:30), but our obligation to "love [our] neighbour as [ourselves]" (12:31)-- in particular, our spouse-- is the second most important command. This means that we need to clear away any and all past bitterness, strife, hatred, and sin by truly confessing our marital sins to our spouse. "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another" (James 5:16).
  
  
• Third, agreement with our spouse is second only to the agreement we ought to have with God, for if a husband and wife attempt to walk in two different directions, love has already turned to hate. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3).
  
  
• Fourth, if God should give us length of days, then we need to grow in the grace of God together with our spouse, or we will be growing away from God. "But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ" (2Peter 3:18).
  
  
• Fifth, learning the secret of working with God, i.e., "Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work" (John 5:17), in our marriages, means that we accept our marital responsibilities-- as demonstrated by our care for our spouse and family-- while realizing that all of our effort is in vain, if God does not bless us. "Except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain" (Psalm 127:1).
  
  
• Sixth, recognize that God's love has given us His forgiveness when we have stumbled into sin, and we ought to forgive our spouse, when they have sinned, i.e., "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32). "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered" (1Peter 3:7).
  
  
• And, finally, claim every Promise upon which our faith can grasp that we may successfully walk with our spouse-- and children, should God so bless-- until Christ should take us Home. "3 According as His Divine Power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him that hath called us to glory and virtue: 4 Whereby are given unto us Exceeding Great and Precious Promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the Divine Nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust" (2Peter 1:3-4). [Please read our article, "Exceeding Great and Precious Promises"---New Window, to see how our day-to-day needs have been ordained by God to cause us the necessity of discovering some new aspect of the character of the LORD Jesus that we may lay hold of by means of the "Exceeding Great and Precious Promises".]

May the Faithful God reward your confidence in Him.

Maranatha!

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Related Topic:

Divorce and Remarriage ---New Window
by Tom and Katie Stewart
"They are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6).

"Many Christians mistakenly think that fornication has been sanctioned as God's grounds for divorce. Not so. There are no Godly grounds for divorce. Laodiceans loudly proclaim, 'God does endorse divorce 'for the cause of fornication' (Matthew 5:32)'... let's study the passage IN CONTEXT... God puts families together-- it is ONLY man who tears them apart. 'For God is not the Author of confusion, but of Peace' (1Corinthians 14:33)... But peace and contentment only come to those who obey God. 'There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked' (Isaiah 57:21). You cannot cut corners with the LORD and think that your family will enjoy each other's company and share a happy life together, without ordering your steps aright and letting God have control of every aspect. 'Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it' (Psalm 127:1)."





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